Some times life just throws a curveball at you doesn't it?
I recently started to study a new play in one of my drama class (Ibsen's A doll house) so i had been thinking about the issue of inequality within marriages. Objectifaction, possessiveness, genuineness, etc. And then twice in my day to day life i got a chance to observe this sort of thing first hand.
I'm usually a pretty anti-social person...actually probably more elitist than anti-social, but either way i don't go out much. So today was anomalous, i had two things planned, lunch with one friend, coffee with another later on. Both times the friends boyfriend/girlfriend showed up as well...you can't exactly tell them to fuck off so it was the three of us.
Anyways, in one relationship animal names like kitten/songbird/etc were used in a very affectionate way. Which seemed weird to me...i always find animal names demeaning and inappropriate. But that's just me, they seemed to be an accepted norm in relationship example number one.
In the second unplanned test case, the same kind of nams were used but seemed to be much less endearing. Not an overly healthy relationship to begin with, but the non-verbal response to hose particular names seemed to be particularily negative. Vindicating my belief that such names are not sweet.
Does it depend on the relationship? can animal names be used lovingly? Where do you draw the line? is Squirell afectionate?
Personally, i think they are always wrong and that the otherwise unhealthy relationship where such terms were a sore point was actully a healthier and more acurae portrayl of male-female relations. Am i way off base her? Obviously i am not a woman, i can only guess (poorly i might add) what is in there heads. But i personally NEVER use such terms and can not imagine reacting kindly to my boyfriend if he refered to me in that way.
Anyways, back to the origianl point. It's kinda wierd that on the occasion that i started studying a play in which i was writing on this topic, i had two examples of it crop up in my otherwise uneventful personal life.
And while i'm at the key board...who is the third wheel in those types of situations? Usually the singel guy/girl hanging out with the couple is the third wheel, but if i have plans with someone and there botfriend/girlfriend shows up uninvited i feel like there intruding on my time with the person and that they are the third wheel, not me.
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hmm...interesting. I would say pet names depend on the relationship. I don't get called "kitten" or "sunshine.." or whatever. but I do very often get called babe or baby, and I call him the same, the only time it really bothers me is if I feel I'm being patronized like "aww, baby, I'm so sorry" when I got a driving ticket...then I get angry. I also restricted him from calling me kiddo lol cause it reminded me of my dad. creepy. but I don't think using pet names is completely detrimental to a relationship. Some people are just cheesy like that. We do it to laugh about it sometimes. like "oh pookie, you're so wonderful" dripping with sarcasm...and such. As for the 3rd wheel, well I would never bring my b/f along to friend time. for example tonight is my roommate night. we drink wine and stay up late chatting on wed. so even if Jordan is free, he's not invited over on wednesday's. I think that the relationship problems show up in that facet more. The fact that they were supposed to have friend time and the b/f or g/f came along...it sounds a little codependant to me. so ya. also if you can't hang out with a couple because they're so busy calling eachother kitten, then ya. problems. lol. oh well, what can you do? anyways miss you!
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