Oh the irony of it. I have a deadline to leave the country...and i start getting work. Ah well, back to New York in 15 days to ride out the rest of a very long summer with the sweetheart. Sorry i didn't get to see everyone that much but...i think you all are just as much to blame as me.
And does everyone recognize the this quote?
"by the time we come home, it won't be called that anymore."
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
still here :(
Well i'm still here. I suppose this month has gone by reasonably faster then i thought it would, which isn't saying much and it is still intolerably slow. Had a blast in New York, still getting sketchy hours of work, contemplating heading south sooner then later. Thats aboot it, alive, lonely, poor...SNAFU. Even giving myself little countdowns doesn't seem to make the time go any faster. 4 days 'till the draft, 8 days 'till free agency, 11 days untill nationals, 13 days 'till the parents absconed, 40-70 days untill i'm out of here...GOD DAMNIT!
Monday, May 25, 2009
today in 2009
Happy towel day everyone.
Another month and i am still alive. Still don't know why the hell i came back to Invermere. Very poor, very lonely. Going to visit Liz in 9 days, to say i'm excited is an understatement.
Another month and i am still alive. Still don't know why the hell i came back to Invermere. Very poor, very lonely. Going to visit Liz in 9 days, to say i'm excited is an understatement.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Another mounth has passed...yes i am alive.
Semesters done, did well in most of my classes (failed German i'll be retaking that in september) home for the summer, work hard keep my mind and hands busy, we'll see how well Liz and I handle a bit of distance.
Quit smoking for all of two weeks now, hard to keep it up when your reason for quitting isn't around.
Realizing how few people are back for the summer...bastards.
until next time, go canucks go, come visit me in Invy i'm lonely.
chriis
Semesters done, did well in most of my classes (failed German i'll be retaking that in september) home for the summer, work hard keep my mind and hands busy, we'll see how well Liz and I handle a bit of distance.
Quit smoking for all of two weeks now, hard to keep it up when your reason for quitting isn't around.
Realizing how few people are back for the summer...bastards.
until next time, go canucks go, come visit me in Invy i'm lonely.
chriis
Sunday, March 22, 2009
a hoi hoi
Well i figure it's bee a month less a day, might as well let the pplz of the internet know if i'm alive or not.
I am.
Not much else is new, trekking along at school, trying to line up work for the summer. Been seeing a great girl, Liz, for a little over a month now...kinda don't want the semester to end, oh well burn that bridge when i come to it. Hope everyone is well, sorry i've been terrible at comunicating this semester.
So yeah...life goes, i'm very happy, very busy, hopefully see everyone soon.
<3
chriis.
I am.
Not much else is new, trekking along at school, trying to line up work for the summer. Been seeing a great girl, Liz, for a little over a month now...kinda don't want the semester to end, oh well burn that bridge when i come to it. Hope everyone is well, sorry i've been terrible at comunicating this semester.
So yeah...life goes, i'm very happy, very busy, hopefully see everyone soon.
<3
chriis.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
tales of the worst blogger ever
Yeah...should have seen this coming, i got bored and realized that i can be much more affective talking to a person rather then myself/the internetz.
I will post the occasional random musings (probably more frequently during exam week again)and if there are any major life changes that i don't want disseminated via the grape vine you can fact check here.
that said, i caught myself saying something today which really didn't make any sense. "things are going according to plan". Normal enough saying except i don't have a plan. Like not even a rough outline of a plan. Unless play it by ear counts.
Which got me thinking about something else, i am TERRIBLE at catching body language and reading between the lines...my plan(if you can call it that) of playing it by ear and feeling my way along is doomed from the start.
Anyways, in the spirit of the saying if not the grammar, things are going according to plan. Not by grace of my planning or natural ability, so my thinking at the end of the day is that i shouldn't think about life too much or i may jinx whatever it is i got going for me.
anyways all the best to whoevers reading this out there, talk to sooner i hope.
I will post the occasional random musings (probably more frequently during exam week again)and if there are any major life changes that i don't want disseminated via the grape vine you can fact check here.
that said, i caught myself saying something today which really didn't make any sense. "things are going according to plan". Normal enough saying except i don't have a plan. Like not even a rough outline of a plan. Unless play it by ear counts.
Which got me thinking about something else, i am TERRIBLE at catching body language and reading between the lines...my plan(if you can call it that) of playing it by ear and feeling my way along is doomed from the start.
Anyways, in the spirit of the saying if not the grammar, things are going according to plan. Not by grace of my planning or natural ability, so my thinking at the end of the day is that i shouldn't think about life too much or i may jinx whatever it is i got going for me.
anyways all the best to whoevers reading this out there, talk to sooner i hope.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The winds of change
This winter so far has not been cold in Newfoundland...but it has been windy. Today, especilly so. Which brought two thoughts to my frost bitten mind:
Firstly, you've all seen small children wearing wearing an adult t-shirt, for whatever reason. They look mildly ridiculous...but in a cute way, the shirt hanging down to their feet, flaring out to their fingertips like some kind of cape. A CAPE!! When i walked home today the wind damn near knocked me over and i m (give or take) 175lbs. That could easily knock over a child. Better yet, with a little bit of courage and creativity, that kind of wind could knock over a child. Well, knocking over is not much fun...well actually it is, but it gets boring after a while. That brings be back to the cape idea.
Perhaps a better word would be kite. If i were to attach a belt and length of rope to a small child's waist wearing one of those aforementioned oversized shirts, i am very confident that they could fly. I miss flying kites and i remember that you actually need very little wind to keep one of those afloat. With the vicious winds that i am currently experiencing i may have found a silver lining and inexhaustable source of entertainment.
Less contrivesailly, i am also torn in such an environment between contact lenses and glasses.
I wear a scarff in thiese wind storms, which redirects my breath on to my glasses lenses and fogs them up, blinding me. However if i wear contacts the moist exposed plastic will harden and become most uncomfortable for the rest of the day. No vision assistance is not an option because i am fairly blind without them and it is hazerdous terrain between here and home.
What is a guy to do?
Well, my suggestion when you get bogged down and frusterated with dilemas like this is quite simple...lets go fly a child, up clo-se to a mile, lets go fly a child.
Firstly, you've all seen small children wearing wearing an adult t-shirt, for whatever reason. They look mildly ridiculous...but in a cute way, the shirt hanging down to their feet, flaring out to their fingertips like some kind of cape. A CAPE!! When i walked home today the wind damn near knocked me over and i m (give or take) 175lbs. That could easily knock over a child. Better yet, with a little bit of courage and creativity, that kind of wind could knock over a child. Well, knocking over is not much fun...well actually it is, but it gets boring after a while. That brings be back to the cape idea.
Perhaps a better word would be kite. If i were to attach a belt and length of rope to a small child's waist wearing one of those aforementioned oversized shirts, i am very confident that they could fly. I miss flying kites and i remember that you actually need very little wind to keep one of those afloat. With the vicious winds that i am currently experiencing i may have found a silver lining and inexhaustable source of entertainment.
Less contrivesailly, i am also torn in such an environment between contact lenses and glasses.
I wear a scarff in thiese wind storms, which redirects my breath on to my glasses lenses and fogs them up, blinding me. However if i wear contacts the moist exposed plastic will harden and become most uncomfortable for the rest of the day. No vision assistance is not an option because i am fairly blind without them and it is hazerdous terrain between here and home.
What is a guy to do?
Well, my suggestion when you get bogged down and frusterated with dilemas like this is quite simple...lets go fly a child, up clo-se to a mile, lets go fly a child.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The weirdness of it all
Some times life just throws a curveball at you doesn't it?
I recently started to study a new play in one of my drama class (Ibsen's A doll house) so i had been thinking about the issue of inequality within marriages. Objectifaction, possessiveness, genuineness, etc. And then twice in my day to day life i got a chance to observe this sort of thing first hand.
I'm usually a pretty anti-social person...actually probably more elitist than anti-social, but either way i don't go out much. So today was anomalous, i had two things planned, lunch with one friend, coffee with another later on. Both times the friends boyfriend/girlfriend showed up as well...you can't exactly tell them to fuck off so it was the three of us.
Anyways, in one relationship animal names like kitten/songbird/etc were used in a very affectionate way. Which seemed weird to me...i always find animal names demeaning and inappropriate. But that's just me, they seemed to be an accepted norm in relationship example number one.
In the second unplanned test case, the same kind of nams were used but seemed to be much less endearing. Not an overly healthy relationship to begin with, but the non-verbal response to hose particular names seemed to be particularily negative. Vindicating my belief that such names are not sweet.
Does it depend on the relationship? can animal names be used lovingly? Where do you draw the line? is Squirell afectionate?
Personally, i think they are always wrong and that the otherwise unhealthy relationship where such terms were a sore point was actully a healthier and more acurae portrayl of male-female relations. Am i way off base her? Obviously i am not a woman, i can only guess (poorly i might add) what is in there heads. But i personally NEVER use such terms and can not imagine reacting kindly to my boyfriend if he refered to me in that way.
Anyways, back to the origianl point. It's kinda wierd that on the occasion that i started studying a play in which i was writing on this topic, i had two examples of it crop up in my otherwise uneventful personal life.
And while i'm at the key board...who is the third wheel in those types of situations? Usually the singel guy/girl hanging out with the couple is the third wheel, but if i have plans with someone and there botfriend/girlfriend shows up uninvited i feel like there intruding on my time with the person and that they are the third wheel, not me.
I recently started to study a new play in one of my drama class (Ibsen's A doll house) so i had been thinking about the issue of inequality within marriages. Objectifaction, possessiveness, genuineness, etc. And then twice in my day to day life i got a chance to observe this sort of thing first hand.
I'm usually a pretty anti-social person...actually probably more elitist than anti-social, but either way i don't go out much. So today was anomalous, i had two things planned, lunch with one friend, coffee with another later on. Both times the friends boyfriend/girlfriend showed up as well...you can't exactly tell them to fuck off so it was the three of us.
Anyways, in one relationship animal names like kitten/songbird/etc were used in a very affectionate way. Which seemed weird to me...i always find animal names demeaning and inappropriate. But that's just me, they seemed to be an accepted norm in relationship example number one.
In the second unplanned test case, the same kind of nams were used but seemed to be much less endearing. Not an overly healthy relationship to begin with, but the non-verbal response to hose particular names seemed to be particularily negative. Vindicating my belief that such names are not sweet.
Does it depend on the relationship? can animal names be used lovingly? Where do you draw the line? is Squirell afectionate?
Personally, i think they are always wrong and that the otherwise unhealthy relationship where such terms were a sore point was actully a healthier and more acurae portrayl of male-female relations. Am i way off base her? Obviously i am not a woman, i can only guess (poorly i might add) what is in there heads. But i personally NEVER use such terms and can not imagine reacting kindly to my boyfriend if he refered to me in that way.
Anyways, back to the origianl point. It's kinda wierd that on the occasion that i started studying a play in which i was writing on this topic, i had two examples of it crop up in my otherwise uneventful personal life.
And while i'm at the key board...who is the third wheel in those types of situations? Usually the singel guy/girl hanging out with the couple is the third wheel, but if i have plans with someone and there botfriend/girlfriend shows up uninvited i feel like there intruding on my time with the person and that they are the third wheel, not me.
Monday, January 26, 2009
The subconscince
Man i have been having the strangest dreams the last couple weeks. Well dream i guess, it's always the same one.
It is hard to describe but i'm gonna give it a whirl.
The movement is probably one of the harder things to describe...kinda like a comic strip, there will be really clear moments then all of a sudden it'll be hours later. And i always know the approximate time as if there was a little clock in the corner...but there isn't actually one there. But at the same time there is movement and action in the individual scenes. The entire thing is silent for the most part, and when there is sound it is very distant and muffled.
The closest approximation i can think of to the art composition is somewhere between a toned town 'Ben Templesmith' and the 'For better or Worse' cartoon strip.
The dream consist of a single typical day in my future life.
The first snap shot is a little after 7AM and my wife is getting out of bed...i'm still really groggy and half heatedly try to hold her back by the hand as she goes to get ready for the day. I half sleep for a few more minutes. She comes back and kisses me good bye and leaves for work. I swing my bad reluctantly and sit on the edge of the side of the bed trying to get my barings. Then i crack the door to the baby's room and make sure she's okay. Have a shower, stare at myself in the mirror. Get the paper from the end of the driveway, eat breakfast. Baby wakes up, change the diapper, feed her, play with her for a little while.
Fast forward a few hours, the baby is in a play pen a few feet away from me and i'm bent over a writing desk working on my thesis. Baby makes a little polite cry for attention. I pick her up and hold her for a little while. Curl up in a papasan chair together and she falls asleep in my arms while i read a book.
couple hours later, same scene as before, me working, few feet away baby in a play pen. Mom will be home soon, i keep working, baby gibbers contentidly. Mom pulls in, i pick up the baby and go down stairs to meet her. She kisses me, kisses the babies head. We go to the kitchen and talk briefly about whatever...like i said there isn't really any descernable sounds, i assume her day at work and what not. Then i take off for a few hours, meet with my supervisor, atend a night seminar, head home. Reverse sence, wife and baby meet me at the door, kiss her, kiss the baby.
Few hours later again. Baby has just been put to bed. Were in the living room, i'm sitting on the couch shes lying down with her head on my lap. I can't really say what, if anything, we're doing...reading, talking, listening to music,knitting, whatever...its just very peaceful and perfect.
Few hours later she goes off to bed, i put on a pot of coffee and head back to work for a few more hours.
Around 2AM i crawl in to bed and put my arm around her and fall straight into a deep exhausted sleep.
Every time its the same dream...wake up, say goodbye, stay at home with the baby, get sparadic work/reading done, she comes in i go out, little bit of school, couple hours together in the living room, late night of work, crawl into bed dead tired.
Other things that i don't really know how i know but i do and they're always the same. I'm a PhD student writing part time as a contributeing editor for Rolling Stone, My wifes a primamry school teacher, we have a daughter little less than a yar old.
There is one more part to the dream but its the hardest to describe and that is the feeling of the whole thing. It's this really content feeling of perfection and comfort. The two examples i can think of that might help explain it are these:
Have you ever lain (is that how you spell the past tense of lie?) on the couch with someone watching a movie and when its over you just stay there, just watching the menu screen...that moment is just right. Theres no need to talk, its not boredom, tiredness or lathargy...just perfect.
Or when you pick up a baby. Not a screamy needy baby, but a happy gurgaling baby. You just hold them and look at them...and you know that everything is going to okay. Even if it isn't; this moment here and now is just so...something else. Time stands still, you forget everything else. You're not even really aware of the baby but instead (without getting too mystic-hippy-like) this kinda purely positive energy.
I don't know if that made any sense or if anyone else has ever felt like that...but thats how i feel through out my entire dream. Things are just the way they should be.
All and all a really weird dream for me to be having...kids?!? WTF? Married?!? I can even identify who it is i'm waking up next to eveytime, but this is my blog and i don't want to tie anyone elses name to it. Seriously...This same dream is really very presistant. Every other night at least, pretty much since i've been back, so rounding in on a month now. I don't even want to know what Freud would make of this...
Did my ramblings make sense to anyone else?
Any idea what the fuck it means?
It is hard to describe but i'm gonna give it a whirl.
The movement is probably one of the harder things to describe...kinda like a comic strip, there will be really clear moments then all of a sudden it'll be hours later. And i always know the approximate time as if there was a little clock in the corner...but there isn't actually one there. But at the same time there is movement and action in the individual scenes. The entire thing is silent for the most part, and when there is sound it is very distant and muffled.
The closest approximation i can think of to the art composition is somewhere between a toned town 'Ben Templesmith' and the 'For better or Worse' cartoon strip.
The dream consist of a single typical day in my future life.
The first snap shot is a little after 7AM and my wife is getting out of bed...i'm still really groggy and half heatedly try to hold her back by the hand as she goes to get ready for the day. I half sleep for a few more minutes. She comes back and kisses me good bye and leaves for work. I swing my bad reluctantly and sit on the edge of the side of the bed trying to get my barings. Then i crack the door to the baby's room and make sure she's okay. Have a shower, stare at myself in the mirror. Get the paper from the end of the driveway, eat breakfast. Baby wakes up, change the diapper, feed her, play with her for a little while.
Fast forward a few hours, the baby is in a play pen a few feet away from me and i'm bent over a writing desk working on my thesis. Baby makes a little polite cry for attention. I pick her up and hold her for a little while. Curl up in a papasan chair together and she falls asleep in my arms while i read a book.
couple hours later, same scene as before, me working, few feet away baby in a play pen. Mom will be home soon, i keep working, baby gibbers contentidly. Mom pulls in, i pick up the baby and go down stairs to meet her. She kisses me, kisses the babies head. We go to the kitchen and talk briefly about whatever...like i said there isn't really any descernable sounds, i assume her day at work and what not. Then i take off for a few hours, meet with my supervisor, atend a night seminar, head home. Reverse sence, wife and baby meet me at the door, kiss her, kiss the baby.
Few hours later again. Baby has just been put to bed. Were in the living room, i'm sitting on the couch shes lying down with her head on my lap. I can't really say what, if anything, we're doing...reading, talking, listening to music,knitting, whatever...its just very peaceful and perfect.
Few hours later she goes off to bed, i put on a pot of coffee and head back to work for a few more hours.
Around 2AM i crawl in to bed and put my arm around her and fall straight into a deep exhausted sleep.
Every time its the same dream...wake up, say goodbye, stay at home with the baby, get sparadic work/reading done, she comes in i go out, little bit of school, couple hours together in the living room, late night of work, crawl into bed dead tired.
Other things that i don't really know how i know but i do and they're always the same. I'm a PhD student writing part time as a contributeing editor for Rolling Stone, My wifes a primamry school teacher, we have a daughter little less than a yar old.
There is one more part to the dream but its the hardest to describe and that is the feeling of the whole thing. It's this really content feeling of perfection and comfort. The two examples i can think of that might help explain it are these:
Have you ever lain (is that how you spell the past tense of lie?) on the couch with someone watching a movie and when its over you just stay there, just watching the menu screen...that moment is just right. Theres no need to talk, its not boredom, tiredness or lathargy...just perfect.
Or when you pick up a baby. Not a screamy needy baby, but a happy gurgaling baby. You just hold them and look at them...and you know that everything is going to okay. Even if it isn't; this moment here and now is just so...something else. Time stands still, you forget everything else. You're not even really aware of the baby but instead (without getting too mystic-hippy-like) this kinda purely positive energy.
I don't know if that made any sense or if anyone else has ever felt like that...but thats how i feel through out my entire dream. Things are just the way they should be.
All and all a really weird dream for me to be having...kids?!? WTF? Married?!? I can even identify who it is i'm waking up next to eveytime, but this is my blog and i don't want to tie anyone elses name to it. Seriously...This same dream is really very presistant. Every other night at least, pretty much since i've been back, so rounding in on a month now. I don't even want to know what Freud would make of this...
Did my ramblings make sense to anyone else?
Any idea what the fuck it means?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Checking in
I know i haven't really been keeping up to date on these blogs, but i've been really busy with school and doing a lot of other writing. Hopefully i'll be back at this soon, i'm kinda starting to get into a routine again.
But just quickly i wanted to talk about a brilliant little gem of self important arrogant satisfaction i just had. One of my guilty pleasures is those internet opinion polls that are popping up on the side of most of my favorite websites. (almost all of them hockey or politics related) Simple little a,b,c or d questions.
I find them instant info input satisfaction.
Am i "normal"? Why does the public disagree with me? can i guess why other people said what hey said? can i predict the result?
For the most part i vote with the masses, people who visit and vote on hockey/political sites tend to know whats going on...and i like to think i do too. But recently i found myself in fairly drastic opposition to the populous.
The question was how many goals will be scored in the NHL all-star game? less then 10, 10 to 15, or 15 plus.
I thought this was a no brainier, obviously 15 plus. So i cast my vote and was mildly disturbed to see that only 15% agreed with me. 25% said 10-15, and a overwhelming 55% said less then 10.
Usually i'm pretty confident in my opinion and assume the masses to be blithering jack-asses if they disagree with my humble opinion. But 55% is a large number nd i haven't been following hockey for that long. Were the last two seasons anomalous? Was i out to lunch on this one? Had they changed the rules to make it more like a regular season game and i some how missed it? was there to be only 2 periods instead of 3? These are not pleasant thoughts for an egoist to have.
Well the radio broadcast just finished and the final score is 12-11 for he eastern team, 23 goals...i know it's a guilty pleasure, but boy oh boy do i feel vindicated.
Suck on that 55% of the hockey world.
But just quickly i wanted to talk about a brilliant little gem of self important arrogant satisfaction i just had. One of my guilty pleasures is those internet opinion polls that are popping up on the side of most of my favorite websites. (almost all of them hockey or politics related) Simple little a,b,c or d questions.
I find them instant info input satisfaction.
Am i "normal"? Why does the public disagree with me? can i guess why other people said what hey said? can i predict the result?
For the most part i vote with the masses, people who visit and vote on hockey/political sites tend to know whats going on...and i like to think i do too. But recently i found myself in fairly drastic opposition to the populous.
The question was how many goals will be scored in the NHL all-star game? less then 10, 10 to 15, or 15 plus.
I thought this was a no brainier, obviously 15 plus. So i cast my vote and was mildly disturbed to see that only 15% agreed with me. 25% said 10-15, and a overwhelming 55% said less then 10.
Usually i'm pretty confident in my opinion and assume the masses to be blithering jack-asses if they disagree with my humble opinion. But 55% is a large number nd i haven't been following hockey for that long. Were the last two seasons anomalous? Was i out to lunch on this one? Had they changed the rules to make it more like a regular season game and i some how missed it? was there to be only 2 periods instead of 3? These are not pleasant thoughts for an egoist to have.
Well the radio broadcast just finished and the final score is 12-11 for he eastern team, 23 goals...i know it's a guilty pleasure, but boy oh boy do i feel vindicated.
Suck on that 55% of the hockey world.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Unfair
I assume everyone has heard bout the airbus that crashed in New York by now, if not 6 second version...plane's taking off, 3000ft high, something goes wrong in the engine, pilot crash lands in the Hudson river, everyone survives, miracle.
MIRACLE?!
I find this ridiculously unfair to the pilot. He has been recognized and praised by the media for his quick and professional behavior but most accounts praise the event as a miracle.
NO! No no no nononono. NO!
That pilot is entirely to thank and it diminishes the virtue of his deed to bring god into the picture. This happened to come in over the wire as i was reading Feuerbach so a little bit of serendipity there but the point is why do we look for god in events like this? And why do some people actually find him? If you look for god...what you're gonna find is a man. That man is Chesley Burnett Sullenberger III, and my hat is off to him. I will not look further for something that isn't there and it pains me to see everyone else doing it.
I am not heartless, i am very glad that the 160 passengers survived (media keeps saying 155, they forgot the three stewerdesses, pilot and co-pilot)
I repeat i am not heartless, i will not rench the spot light away from the man who desreves it. I will not marginalize a hero. I will not give my thanks to HIM to some boogey man in the sky.
One more thing about Chesley...as the plane took on water and the passengers huddled on the wings waiting to be rescued do you know where Chesley was? walking up and down the aisles, up to his waist in water making sure everone was off the plane.
He was called upon to act and he did so, i refuse to let some superstition hare his limelight. Thank you good sir.
MIRACLE?!
I find this ridiculously unfair to the pilot. He has been recognized and praised by the media for his quick and professional behavior but most accounts praise the event as a miracle.
NO! No no no nononono. NO!
That pilot is entirely to thank and it diminishes the virtue of his deed to bring god into the picture. This happened to come in over the wire as i was reading Feuerbach so a little bit of serendipity there but the point is why do we look for god in events like this? And why do some people actually find him? If you look for god...what you're gonna find is a man. That man is Chesley Burnett Sullenberger III, and my hat is off to him. I will not look further for something that isn't there and it pains me to see everyone else doing it.
I am not heartless, i am very glad that the 160 passengers survived (media keeps saying 155, they forgot the three stewerdesses, pilot and co-pilot)
I repeat i am not heartless, i will not rench the spot light away from the man who desreves it. I will not marginalize a hero. I will not give my thanks to HIM to some boogey man in the sky.
One more thing about Chesley...as the plane took on water and the passengers huddled on the wings waiting to be rescued do you know where Chesley was? walking up and down the aisles, up to his waist in water making sure everone was off the plane.
He was called upon to act and he did so, i refuse to let some superstition hare his limelight. Thank you good sir.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The saga begins...
I'm beat...so a short musing on an old proverb.
"you learn more from defeat then victory."
I really hope that this is true because Hegel KICKED MY ASS this weekend. If anyone can explain the difference between a inversion of the mind in on itself to infinity as the process of actualization of concept vs the retraction of the mind in on itself as the non-actualization of a finitude external while still expressing the necessary concept of will as freedom to infinity...i would greatly appreciate your help.
"you learn more from defeat then victory."
I really hope that this is true because Hegel KICKED MY ASS this weekend. If anyone can explain the difference between a inversion of the mind in on itself to infinity as the process of actualization of concept vs the retraction of the mind in on itself as the non-actualization of a finitude external while still expressing the necessary concept of will as freedom to infinity...i would greatly appreciate your help.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
preliminary observations may have been overly ambitiuos
So may original asses ment of this blogging thing might have been done a little bit soon.
I wrote a vast majority of my blogs during exam week when i was supposed to be studying for exams that i really didn't care about in courses that weren't all that hard. And after a couple weeks of that i said i enjoyed writing them and that it was valuable to get my idea's out and work through them on paper. (well...screen)
Well the first one is still true, i do miss writing blogs and hopefully i'll get back to it on a semi-regular basis soon, but as for helping me think i was mistaken. All through those early blogs i was in a fairly consistent state of mind but over the last two weeks i have gone through three different mind sets which were not conducive to writing anything down, hence the unplanned hiatus.
First off is the completely unproductive life style. Over christmas i made it my goal to do as little as possible. That included thinking. During that time i did sit down and try to write a blog two or three times but there was honestly nothing in my head to work with. I suppose this is good because i'm back at school somewhat rested and that is what i had hoped to do...i just never imagined that i would be as sucesful as i was.
Second mind set which has not allowed me to write anything recently is the VERY productive mind set. Last couple days i was in BC i started to try and cram in a bunch of reading that i had planned to do over the break. Like i said i never dreamed i would actully be able to turn my brain off, as i was packing i actively planned to be A) as unproductive as posible and B) read Atlas Shrugged, Two other trash books, a month or two worth of Marxism readings, write a confrence paper, and edit my Plato coloquim submission...bit of a mixed message. Anyway towards the end of the break i started craming in Rand at about 100 pages/day, another 40-50/day of Marx, finished a trash book, wrote three drafts of my confrence paper. So my mind was buzzing...i really had no NEED to write them down. (also i don't think very many people want to read about trans-generatinal deviation from an institutional norm and the reactionary response of specific cross sections to that anti-thesis)
And the third non-blog-condusive mind set is one that i am currently in is the "stressed-right-the-fuck-out" and/or very-very-busy mind set. Although this current environment does give me a chance for introspection it does not allow time for actully writing (i feel kinda guilty sitting here now) I bit off more then i could chew in the first week of class and really want to start this semester started on the right foot so i've been reading for about 6 hours a night since i've been back...more on that later, i really DO need to get back to work.
But that's why i have been underground...relaxation, productivity, and stress.
Hopefully i will find somekind of equilibrium soon.
I wrote a vast majority of my blogs during exam week when i was supposed to be studying for exams that i really didn't care about in courses that weren't all that hard. And after a couple weeks of that i said i enjoyed writing them and that it was valuable to get my idea's out and work through them on paper. (well...screen)
Well the first one is still true, i do miss writing blogs and hopefully i'll get back to it on a semi-regular basis soon, but as for helping me think i was mistaken. All through those early blogs i was in a fairly consistent state of mind but over the last two weeks i have gone through three different mind sets which were not conducive to writing anything down, hence the unplanned hiatus.
First off is the completely unproductive life style. Over christmas i made it my goal to do as little as possible. That included thinking. During that time i did sit down and try to write a blog two or three times but there was honestly nothing in my head to work with. I suppose this is good because i'm back at school somewhat rested and that is what i had hoped to do...i just never imagined that i would be as sucesful as i was.
Second mind set which has not allowed me to write anything recently is the VERY productive mind set. Last couple days i was in BC i started to try and cram in a bunch of reading that i had planned to do over the break. Like i said i never dreamed i would actully be able to turn my brain off, as i was packing i actively planned to be A) as unproductive as posible and B) read Atlas Shrugged, Two other trash books, a month or two worth of Marxism readings, write a confrence paper, and edit my Plato coloquim submission...bit of a mixed message. Anyway towards the end of the break i started craming in Rand at about 100 pages/day, another 40-50/day of Marx, finished a trash book, wrote three drafts of my confrence paper. So my mind was buzzing...i really had no NEED to write them down. (also i don't think very many people want to read about trans-generatinal deviation from an institutional norm and the reactionary response of specific cross sections to that anti-thesis)
And the third non-blog-condusive mind set is one that i am currently in is the "stressed-right-the-fuck-out" and/or very-very-busy mind set. Although this current environment does give me a chance for introspection it does not allow time for actully writing (i feel kinda guilty sitting here now) I bit off more then i could chew in the first week of class and really want to start this semester started on the right foot so i've been reading for about 6 hours a night since i've been back...more on that later, i really DO need to get back to work.
But that's why i have been underground...relaxation, productivity, and stress.
Hopefully i will find somekind of equilibrium soon.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
