This morning was one of those weird mornings when i dragged myself out of bed with more than 4 minutes 'till i had to be out the door. This doesn't happen very often. But it did today.
So there i am, like a fish out of water, staring at myself in the mirror. Rubbing my eyes and assessing the state of my stubble. I came to the conclusion that it was not yet time for my bi-weekly shave. That's right...bi-weekly. I just don't grow facial hair. I tried. At the beginning of this semester, i said i wasn't going to shave until christmas break. Around the end of October when there was still no sign of my patches filling in i gave up and shaved the hideous thing off. It might even be stretching the truth to call it patches of hair. These were patches of patches...i could seriously count all 7 hairs on the left side of my face. There were a few more on the right, but 7 on the left. What is that?
I've always kinda wanted a beard. Even if i didn't like it at least i would have that option open to me. Apparently some men don't reach full maturation 'till there mid-twenties so maybe there is still hope for me, but the number on factor is supposed to be genetics...if that's the case i'm screwed.
On my dads side of the family; he can't grow a beard and he can't remember his father ever having much more then a 5 O'clock shadow. He doesn't remember his brother ever sporting a beard either, but can't be sure if thats by choice or lack of ability. Same thing on my moms side, well obviously she doesn't have a beard, but grandma has a funny and vivid story of my grandpa entering into some kind of comunity beard growing contest fundraiser thingy (gotta love samll town Alberta). At the end of the alloted time some of the other men around town were sporting quite impressive beards while grandma was using a make-up pencil to fill in the last of grandpas mustache.
I guess i'm lucky that i don't have to shave everyday...everyone i've asked said if i could grow a beard i'd grow to hate shaving so i'm better off not having one at all. Maybe there right. I'm not about to start rubbing rogaine on my face. Although i did toy with the idea untill i found out how it was discovered. It originated as a drug to lower blood preasure and for some reason patients started growing hair...so they re-packaged it and started selling it by the millions to ageing baby boomers. This is a scary prospect for me because, believe it or not (i don't) i have very LOW blood preasure. For all the stress and anger and yelling and tiraideing and fuming and lectureing and astonishment and disbelief in my life, you would think i would have high blood preasure. I guess god (or whoever) knew i would be like this and gave me a handicap to start the game off with. Mark my words by the time i'm thirty the ol' BP will be up near critical. But untill then I'm not going to rub something on my face that could potentialy lower my already worrisome blood preasure.
The other intresting tidbit on beard growing i found was that apparetnly caffine stimulate a nice healthy beard...i am completely befuddled by this one. If this is true, with the amount of coffee i drink i should have a ZZ top beard. No fair.
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2 comments:
meh. beards are overrated. and they must be well kept, otherwise they are just downright icky.
I admire some well kept beards, but give me a clean shaven man thank you very much.
and trust me, you are sooo lucky that you don't have to shave twice a day just to keep your face smooth.
you just like the image of the haggard poet/writer/intellectual who's been up for 48 hours, hasn't even realized they haven't shaved due to obsession with Nietzsche, and has this nice, bushy beard as a result.
don't cave to the masses, man. be an individual.
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